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This period signifies a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” entered the mainstream. Initially, the notion that someone could abruptly cease communication with a lover without any notice seemed like the peak of disrespect. How naive we were. In the 10 years since, seeking a significant other has only become more perplexing – an frequently unsuccessful pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly defined by online lingo.

Generation Z, a cohort who came of age during a social isolation crisis, a male identity reckoning, and a widespread challenge on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier terrain than their Gen Y forerunners could ever envision. And so their dating vocabulary has grown more elaborate and more unhinged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” pushing the limits of your sanity.

The following list is a detailed guide to the phrases Zoomers is using to navigate romance, sex and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the recent most popular memes, by the end of this list you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Genuineness – In the view of gen Z, romance's ultimate goal is presenting as your real, raw self. You'll need it with that!

B

Avian theory – A social media test inspired by a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your date's reply is engaged or dismissive. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s response to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while exuding mystery and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This signifies choosing someone who supports you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A outing where two people bond while doing chores, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained twentysomethings do budget-friendly dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or breakup, venting all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie affluence, it describes couples who choose against having children to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Open communication – The opposite of acting aloof: embracing communication, transparency and openness.

F

Flags

• Danger signals – Behavioral traits signaling a potential partner is trouble. Examples include calling their exes unstable, bad tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits confirm your choice to pursue a partner. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low screen time, having a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, mostly benign quirks. For instance being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their bag, paying the rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (nothing builds intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

G

The band Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Ghostlighting – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon partner who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally delaying climax so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women's increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An ideal touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no goals of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Random and usually everyday dealbreakers that instantly shut down any sense of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an extremely thoughtful act.

J

Jobs – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in fields they perceive as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the era of locking lips may be limited since some gen Z want fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance believable.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {